2005-03-15

Desperate Housewives & BDSM


RE: Bree, her husband, and the BDSM lifestyle
For those that don't know about BDSM, it refers to Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism/Submission, Masochism. Do a search.

Desperate Housewives is waking up conservative and ignorant America to the relatively common sexual practices of domination and bondage.

Relationships consist of a dominant individual and a submissive individual, with the possible exception of one-night-stands or chance encounters. These dominant/submissive practices exist in every sexual relationship, although it may be subtle.

Bree's husband is obviously attracted to her dominant nature but, unfortunately, for him, she doesn't carry it over strongly enough to satisfy his desire in the bedroom. Which brings to light another possibility: the issue of role reversal in the bedroom. Perhaps in the bedroom they are behaving consistently with their teaching that the woman is subservient and the male is dominant.

Realize that BDSM is a role playing game, just as playing doctor/patient or playing out a pseudo-rape scenario. It is a way to achieve safe, trusting satisfaction within a secure environment. It is important to note, however, that BDSM does not necessarily result in orgasm. This is choice that is agreed upon (whether spoken or an understanding exists) before the 'game' begins.

It is interesting to consider the similarities between adult sexual play and pre-adult role playing. For example, many people of various ages (children, teens, and adults) have played games such as doctor/patient. It seems obvious that adult sexual games have roots in childhood experiences (teacher/student). So how is bondage or sadism initiated? Why should it be so surprising or shocking? Children often tie up each other (or pretend to). Although the roots of inflicting or receiving pain for pleasure are likely (but not necessarily) to be the result of unfortunate childhood upbringing.

Unfortunately for Americans, the expected shock of bondage & domination being referenced on primetime T.V. is exactly what conservative (and religious) Americans wish to prevent. They wish to dictate that sex is bad. Conversely, television violence is accepted and expected. Personally, I find this sickening. We are taught that procreation will destroy our youth, and that violence will make our youth stronger. I do not believe that pre-pubescent children need to be taught the difference between a labia and foreskin and sperm meet egg. Nor should they be taught violence by watching the morning news. The rest of the world considers America to be a violent nation. Blah blah blah...got off the subject.

Besides Desperate Housewives, Family Guy has also highlighted Mistress/submissive bondage. Here are some movies that depict or suggest BDSM:
The Road Warrior, Exit to Eden, Goldeneye (and other 007 films), Secretary (not The Secretary), 9 1/2 Weeks, Aladin, Return of the Jedi, Bachelor Party, Star 80, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Real Men, 9 to 5, Flash Gordon, Weird Science, Blind Date, Blue Velvet...

A personal note: I'm not into BDSM. Honest.

-Bob